My mind is most accurately described as a sieve. I often forget things that happened last week- or even yesterday. It’s awesome because I can frequently watch movies several times. I usually remember the main plot, but the ending seems to be a surprise every time. Back when I was a kid, I read all the Harry Potter books. I know something REALLY BIG happens in the end, *no spoiler alert*- but I don’t remember what it was. at all. Unfortunately, while my movie selection is never-ending, this particular quality of mine is not super helpful when trying to claim that my husband never told me something, or when I try to remember if I was supposed to babysit Kateri and Rosemary.
I attribute this lack of memory to my late teens and early twenties. Before then, I was able to remember quite a lot about my childhood and different occasions. Through college I began a fierce battle with depression and anxiety, which for many years was coped with by not coping at all. I was successfully [depending on your definition] able to navigate nursing school and learning to be an adult, with suppressing all emotion and feelings that I was experiencing. Since then I have since learned that my [un]coping mechanism was not a long term solution, but the effects on my memories are here to stay- at least for now.
Last week it got up to 76 degrees in Wisconsin. WHAT?! To celebrate the weather, my mom [who was watching my nieces] and I decided to take a long walk at a marsh not too far from where I grew up. The Horicon Marsh is part National Wildlife Refuge, part State wildlife refuge. It’s all beautiful. I also just learned via Wikipedia that it’s the largest cattail marsh in the country. Thanks, Wikipedia!
My mom and I have special relationship [I like to think]. She is my confidante, and I truly consider her my best friend. Since I’ve been married and had Cormac, I haven’t spent nearly as much time with her as I used to. It’s always nice when we are able to spend some quality time together. We talked about this new blog thing I’m trying out. We laughed about my last post, locking Cormac in the car [because if you don’t laugh, you cry]. We joked that I was going to have to have way more events like that happen to keep writing anything interesting.
We had a picnic lunch with the girls and Cormac, and walked about 3 miles.
Cormac decided to poop through his clothes (typical Cormac), and Rosemary took a tumble out of the stroller – don’t worry- she was fine. All in all, it was a pretty typical afternoon spent with some of my favorite people. There was no specific event during the day that stood out or was incredibly abnormal. It was fun, tiring, and relaxing all at the same time. It wasn’t something super ‘notable’ to put in a blog post, per say. But it was everything I want to remember about this part in my life.
I am sure that I won’t remember this particular afternoon in 20 years, or even 5 years. Not with my memory at least. But when I think back about when Cormac was little and I got to stay home with him, I want to remember the feeling I had last Friday. I want to smile back on the thoughts of spending time with my favorite people in relaxing and beautiful environments. It’s memories like these that I want to bottle the essence of and carry around with me to old age.
I think that it’s all the run-of-the-mill things in life that can shape how you view your past. I hope that this ordinary afternoon will shape my past in a positive way- and I hope to continue to capture these moments in time. I want to recollect all the good vibes as I continue on this journey.